CrazyTown

I've been to a little place
called CrazyTown
where the air is so thin
I can hardly breathe.

A neurotic,
psychotic place
is CrazyTown
and its inhabitant
(population: 1)
is crazed.

There’s an alarm that goes off
at 4:00 every morning
or thereabouts
I’m the only one
who can hear this
alarm.
Is that so strange?

Sometimes I run
and run and run
to leave this
CrazyTown.
I’m on the noon train
getting the heck out of Dodge
but still that damn train
crosses the CrazyTown Bridge
and leads me back
to thin air,
alarms only I can hear,
and crazy thoughts.

What is it about
this crazy town--
this madness.
this craving,
that calls me back
again and again?

You think you’ll only visit
CrazyTown--
but a few hours stay
turns into a fortnight
(that’s Britspeak for two weeks)
and a fortnight becomes a habit.
And the habit of CrazyTown
is too consuming
too addictive
too much a waste
of precious living.

So, I’m leaving
for good this time.
I don’t want
to even stand on that damn border again.
This chick’s got new places to go, to see,
and they don’t include even driving by
CrazyTown.

An imp called Comment

A comment
is an elusive thing
Somewhere out there
in Cyberspace
floating
Or perhaps stranded
on someone else's blog

I'm waiting
anticipating
Baited breath
and all that
as I send my thoughts
into this vacuum
called Cyberspace

I've set out milk and cookies
for that little imp,
that Comment,
so contrary
so wary
of being caught
that it foregoes the milk and cookies

Ah, well
Perhaps it just doesn't like
milk and cookies
or cat stories
or vintage outpourings
or the mutterings
of my mind

here are a few of mine; what about yours?

Some favorite lines from favorite films:

1. From When Harry Met Sally (Sally is crying on Harry's shoulder because she's just found out her last boyfriend has gotten engaged to someone else)--

Sally : And I'm gonna be forty.
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday.
Harry: In eight years.

2. Kathryn Hepburn in Stage Door--
"The calla lillies are in bloom again." (I don't know why I like this line; she just says it so beautifully.)

3. Two separate lines by Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca--
"We'll always have Paris."

"Of all the gin joints in all the world, she walks into mine."

4. Bette Midler in Beaches--
"But enough about me--let's talk about you. What do you think about me?" (Makes me laugh everytime!)

5. Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly in Rear Window--
Jeff: Well, when am I gonna see you again?
Lisa (hesitantly): Not for a long time...(pause)...at least not until tomorrow night.

curious as a cat

You've likely heard the expression, "Curiosity killed the cat." Tigra subscribes to the version I grew up hearing my mom say: "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back."

To be continued....

maybe I need an anti-gravitational device

My profile, links, and previous posts have slid to the bottom of the page. I don't think I did anything to make them hide down there. Do you think they're just getting old and succumbing to gravity, or do you think they might be feeling a bit low?

Seriously, has anyone got any idea as to how I can drag them back up?

feminist musings on nostalgic offerings

Although, as I've said, I really love things from an earlier era, I also can't help but think about certain cultural implications. I've already mentioned, for example, that What's My Line? frequently had female contestants with jobs that were traditionally held by men. I suppose you could say that this broke the stereotype, but I think the fact that these women were presented as out-of-the-ordinary (and therefore a challenge for the panelists to guess) meant that these stereotypes were reinforced.

I Love Lucy is a classic comedy and there are certain episodes that I can watch repeatedly for the simple pleasure of the comic artistry and timing. But. It still astounds me that such a skewed view of women was so accepted. Women are not only gossipy and too talkative, but they don't know how to manage money, they can't drive, and they lie about their weight and age. Although Lucy and Ethel occasionally get the better of their husbands, it is, much more often, the other way round. In I Love Lucy land, the men are men and the women are...girls. "Yes, sir," says Lucy in response to husband Ricky when he reprimands her for overspending her household allowance. Yes, allowance.

To be continued....

Hey, kids, don't try this at home

Just in case you were wondering: you can put your portable USB drive through both the wash and the dryer and it will continue to work.

Done on a closed course with a professional driver. Do not attempt.

hamburgers and milkshakes and...oh my!

I worked for two years in a fast food restaurant after high school. To this day, whenever I visit a fast food restaurant (which isn't frequently), I am thankful that I no longer have to work in such a place.

Actually, it's amazing that I ever go to fast food restaurants at all, given that I have such vivid memories of the cockroaches. You might be interested to know that we consistently received an "A," the top rating, from the health department. We cleaned and mopped regularly and perishable foods were kept refrigerated. The restaurant was free-standing; that is, it wasn't attached to any other buildings, so it wasn't as if the roaches were coming from another business. Still, you could open the drawer where the hamburger patties were kept and see the roaches inside the drawer run from the light. I shall never forget finding a cockroach in the milkshake machine and being told by the manager to scoop him out and continue selling shakes.

More than you ever wanted to know about cockroaches (although you've probably already reached that stage, haven't you?):

• Did you know that a female American cockroach and her offspring can produce over 800 cockroaches in a year? (http://www.ipm.ucdavis.edu/PMG/PESTNOTES/pn7467.html)
• A cockroach can live a week without its head. The roach only dies because without a mouth, it can't drink water and dies of thirst. (http://yucky.kids.discovery.com/noflash/roaches/pg000097.html)

So, how do you feel about your favorite fast food restaurant (or any restaurant) now?

What's My Line?

There's a program on late at night called What's My Line? I remember watching a later version of this game show when I was growing up, but this particular series is from the 1950s. It was filmed in black and white, and the sets almost appear to be made out of cardboard--a far cry from the colors, lights, and sophisticated graphics of shows today. There's something quite endearing about the amateur quality of the bare sets with names of long-forgotten advertisers in big letters over the host's desk and along the front of where the four guest panelists sit.

The object of the game is for the panelists to discover the contestant's job--his or her "line"--through a series of yes/no questions. The panelists take turns asking as many questions as they can until the contestant answers "no" to one of the questions. With each "no," the contestant wins $5.00 (one of many signs that this show was produced 50 years ago!). The game ends either when one of the panelists correctly guesses the contestant's job or when there are ten "no" answers. (Incidentally, it's a fun game to play with ESL/EFL students and is good practice for speaking/listening, yes/no question forms, and critical thinking.)

The show is so clearly of another era--the women wear cocktail dresses and clip-on earrings that glitter; the men wear bow-ties (definitely not of the clip-on variety). The jobs are often bizarre: a hog buyer, a woman who dives into a tank of water on horseback, a bee hive inspector. Female contestants' jobs frequently are ones not associated with women at that time: an army doctor whose patients are all men, a judo instructor, a navy barber, a gas station attendant.